February 2012
neil gaiman? more like neil gayman.
oh, i see. my skin was cracking horrendously again. i have terrifying lizard skin covering a viscous layer of entirely unnecessary blood and occasionally my flesh just decides to drain itself in the winter. mmmm.
what, was i sleep-fingerbanging some bitch or something
AHHH I LOOKED DOWN AND MY FINGERS ARE COVERED IN BLOOD, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
can you list “competitive rapping” as your favorite sport
i tried to look at cloud shapes so i went outside and it was just one giant cloud covering the entire sky. not one to be defeated, i simply remarked “that cloud looks like the fall of man” and walked back inside.
i cut my mouth on my reese’s puffs. #firstworldproblems
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WHY IS A RATHIAN’S WEAK POINT ITS HEAD
THAT’S WHERE THE FIRE COMES OUT
thomasbrocannon asked: mary mary will you skype with me while you play your game i want to see it looks cool
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good. i crippled him terribly. and then i caught him. he tried to summon a rathian, one of those giant fucking dragons, to come help him, but i threw a wad of shit on it when it landed and it flew off again. haa haaaa, fuck you, qurupeco.
i threw a literal wad of shit, by the way. it was a dung bomb. good.
oh my god this fucking monster won’t stop STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SCREEEN
STOP IT
I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE NEXT AREA EVERY TIME I TRY TO HIT YOU
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go to forest to slay giant fucking bird, end up getting distracted and harvesting honey and mushrooms along the way
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okay, got my items, got my armor…ah yes. i have to got order food from the tiny cat who runs a canteen in the village.
i think today i will have…an ancient bean and great mutton stew. yeah. those stat bonuses look good.
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fine. i’m hunting qurupecos for armor now. fucking qurupecos. jesus.
see. look at this huge faggot. these guys are just annoying. mostly because i had to kill like a jillion of them to try and get enough gross-ass monster chunks to build a sweet fucking fire hammer and it took FOREVER. but the same thing happened with my ludroth armor set because this game is all about making you want to...
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GREAT. ALL OF MY ARMOR IS SUPER WEAK TO FIRE. THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKING MAGICAL.
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good. great. i have to hunt a rathian. fucking little dragon bitches.
maybe i can trap it or something and not have to kill it all the way these shits are retarded powerful
but then i use to say that about royal ludroths
and now all of my armor is made of them
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begin game. select file. continue existing character: SGROI
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shit this intro has a lot of dinosaurs in it
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the reminder came up on the screen to put on and tighten my wii remote wrist strap and i just kind of scoffed at it and ranted for a little bit. “put on my wrist strap? no. fuck your wrist strap. i don’t need it. i’m not gonna throw the fucking thing across the room. it’s not gonna magically fly out of my hand and into a vase or my mannequin friend like your picture so...
ugh FINE if no one is gonna hang out with me, well then, it’s time to blog, children. it is time to play monster hunter tri and blog about it. *ollies over a lagiacrus and shoots it in the face*
blogsaretough:
imdisabled:
also one day in 3rd grade, i held a banana up to my head like a phone and said, “hello, mister president?” and my friend said i was stupid so i threw the banana at him and our friendship was never the same
your friend is stupid that’s a hilarious joke
i think the part of spencer’s that sells baby clothes should just have a sign hanging over it saying “UNFIT PARENTS SECTION”
catbountry:
adriofthedead:
leonsumbitches:
...
cisgender:
a really annoying “bad-ass” girl i went to high school with is now pregnant by a guy whose penis i have seen and who i once saw get beat with a chair during a fight at a a party. a few hours before that i made a house of cards on him while he was passed out. congratulations on your baby.
